Despite my attempts at being optimistic about everything happening in my life lately, I can’t help but feel like things aren’t going as I had hoped. I’ve tried for the past week or so to talk to Mac about where we want to go from here, but all I get is disinterest in the conversation. I told her I’d like to talk today about it, and she responded by taking a nap, then locking herself in her room for hours talking to her new love interest. It’s tearing me apart.
What doubt I had about our ability to fix our situation is only growing stronger by the day. I’m still not sure where we stand as far as our relationship goes, but I can’t help but assume I’ll be alone in the near future. It makes me wonder… Did these last 4 years mean nothing to her?
I’m a little drunk tonight and probably shouldn’t be blogging, but I have to put this somewhere before I explode from emotional overload. Once we’ve got everything figured out I’ll start posting the things I’d originally started this blog for. Sorry for all the journaling in the mean time.