I wish I could tell her how much I hurt. I wish I could tell her that, no, I’m not okay. But I don’t want to hurt her by putting that burden on her. I need to move on, but I can’t do that as quickly as she can.
I don’t mean to sound emo, but I’m broken. My heart is torn to shreds, and I don’t know how to handle it. Every minute of every day I think about how much I love her, and how much she loved me until I introduced her to the guy who stole her heart. The more I think of it, the greater and darker the shadow looming over my soul grows.
I thought it would be easier than this, and at the same time I expected it to be much harder. I expected she would at least have lingering feelings for me, but if she does, she sure as hell doesn’t show it. And that kills me more than anything. We had something special, something you don’t find often. Maybe it was one-sided, or maybe she’s afraid to show it to me. I don’t know. I doubt I ever will.
Maybe sleep will cure my woes, and when I wake up it’ll be nothing but a bad dream. Perhaps I hope for too much. I fear I’ve lost the one thing I truly cared about in this world. Or perhaps I’m being melodramatic. Good night, world. I’m going to spend another sleepless night pondering over everything that could be.